Lately, I've been stressing over my life. Which kind of sucks, I mean, I'm used to stressing over it, but this time it feels like I won't get done with what I need to.
I'm being stretched thin already and it's not even quite midterm yet. It's already hard to find focus, and my grades are slipping. (When I say slipping, I mean from A's to B's). My slipping grades suck, because right now I have a 4.0 in college and I'm afraid after this semester it will not be a perfect gpa, which makes me sad and mad at myself. More so with school, it's coming time to start putting in college applications. Once again, I'm in the same predicament that I was two years ago before LLC, that being, that I need to figure out a major before I apply to colleges. I need to have a better idea of what I want out of my life, and it's just not coming easily. Dreaming right now seems simply like dreaming, like no matter what I choose, I won't be able to get work in it, and a degree won't help. Along with applying to schools, I also need to have money for the application fees, but I don't want to pay an application fee and then not go there, because it's obviously just a waste of money. As for a major, I have a minute portion of what I want to do figured out. I'm pretty sure that I was to get Sign Interpreted Certified, however there are issues with this. If I do go for sign language interpreting, it's a two year program, which is another two years of schooling and I still won't have a degree and none of the credits from the certification will transfer. So, then, I'd have 4 years of college under my belt and not very much to show for it. However, If I do sign interpreting I guess that gives me another two years to figure out my life. This is all so confusing, and then with the decision of other colleges comes the price of tuition which is ridiculously high no matter what school you go to.
Cheerleading, while I love you, you're stressing me out too. I'm starting to pysch myself up/out for games. Whenever they roll around I'm going to be one busy kid and very tired as well. It also doesn't help that I have to drive round trip 3 hours just for a game or a practice or whatever. I know I sign up for it, and I don't regret it not even one bit. It's just stressing me out. I'm looking forward to performing and showing everyone how good we are.
Car, I hate you. I hate you because I feel that you aren't reliable even though you've done nothing to prove that you aren't but still. I just feel that because you're 15 years old that you will end up breaking down and I'll be screwed. I wish I had a car payment and a job so I could barely afford to live, at least then I'd feel secure. :/
This is all for now, I'm tired and should be doing homework anyway. Thanks for reading.
