All of the last few months, and even years have been leading up to this. I have needed to find the courage to face all of you. I know that this may seem childish or insincere, however, I feel that it is the best way to reach everyone. I've been struggling for quite some time to get to this moment. I have fought myself countless times. I finally feel that I'm in a place where I should be, that I'm happy enough with myself and surroundings that I feel safe to speak up.
I've been struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality. I am bisexual. Plain and simple. It's who I am, but it's not all of me. If you have an issue with this, I hope that you'll address it in a respectful manner. I would prefer that you not make fun of me or this new found information. Instead, please bring your concerns or comments to me.
I've been haggled for years by many people from all over about what my sexual orientation is. Until this moment in time, I've never felt that I was in a good place to be honest. I've already told some of my close friends and family members. So far, the support and acceptance has been great. I truly appreciate the kind words they had to share after being honest with them.
Most of you will not understand, why I didn't say something earlier. This is not newly found for me. I've known since I was 13. I was just confused and felt like no one would understand. I honestly felt like there was no one else like me. So I kept it inside. It has been eating at me for years. I'm ready to unleash the truth and set that part of me free. I'm tired of feeling guilty about lying to people. I'm tired of people not knowing me one hundred percent. I'm tired of making myself feel like crap. I'm tired of fighting with myself of when and who to tell.
This issue has had me depressed for years. I couldn't shake the feelings of shame, guilt, and insecurity that I harbored over this secret. I've been so conflicted over the whole issue of "deviant" sexual orientations. The avenue that has brought the most overwhelming feelings of dissonance has been religion. However, I realized, I am already bisexual, not telling people isn't going to change that. Keeping it held inside will not make me straight. I do not need the bible quoted at me. I've read countless passages, and other people's opinions and interpretations of the scripture. I don't need any more feedback on the religious aspect of it. I have come to terms with my own beliefs. I've spoken to other people who are bisexual and also dealt with the issues of religion, and that helped tremendously. My comments in earlier blog posts about whether or not religion has helped me or harmed me, were mainly aimed at the issue of bisexuality.
The journey of coming out has been a long and rather strung out one. I'm glad that I am finally able to be done with that journey, and get on with living my life. I understand that there are certain stigmas/stereotypes. Please, understand that a label does not define a person, nor is any stereotype ever completely true for an entire group of people. I hope that you will be able to move past your initial thoughts and feelings about bisexuality, and see me for who I am, what I am, what I've done, my successes, and anything else pertinent to my being. I cannot and will not be defined by one term; one aspect of my being. Please examine me as a whole.
There are so many myths concentrated around this classification of sexual orientation, and I can assure you that they are not true. However, if you chose to believe them and to indulge yourself in ignorant thinking, please, see your way out of my life. Your criticism will not be necessary. If you have any questions, please address them to me. I'll be more than happy to answer any questions that aren't derogatory or negative.
Thank you for the patience that you have displayed in reading this. I hope that this will not affect your perception of me in a negative sense, but enhance how you feel about me. I am being honest with you all, and opening myself up to you. I ask that you respect that, and keep anything bad that you have to say to yourselves. Once again, this post was not intended for others to make fun of me, gossip about me, share for fun, or anything of that nature. Also, this is not a phase/stage, and this is not for attention.
I'm sorry that this took so long to surface and for me to tell you. I love all of you, and I hope that you still love me as well. In closing, I leave you with this quote from Dr. Seuss that has helped me through the years. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Sincerely,
Karl.
