BigCityDreams

Okay, so I did a blog "challenge" a couple of weeks maybe months ago. I liked the idea of it so I found another one. However, this is a thirty day thing, and versus me cluttering up your space with my blog thirty days, I'm going to do all thirty in one blog post.

This is the list for the 30 day challenge.

Day 1 — Your favorite song
I don't have an all time favorite song, but I'm digging Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri right now. Also, some old Fallout Boy/Dashboard Confessional/Taking Back Sunday are always some goodies. :)

Day 2 — Your favorite movie
Same with this, I have no all time favorite movie. However, Mean Girls may be it. I'm sort of in love with it.

Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
Well, It would include no awkwardness. Also, it was would be with someone who fit my attractions both personality wise and look wise. Whatever, we did wouldn't matter as we would both be cool enough just hanging out with one another.

Day 4 – Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
I don't have just one best friend. Most of my friends are close enough to me that I consider them best friends. However, here is one that I rather enjoy of both Faith and myself.


Day 5 – How important you think education is?
I believe that education is one of the single most important things that a person can seek out. Not necessarily formal education but difinitely educating yourself on the world, things around you, things you care about, and also broadening your horizons through education yourself on other people (minorities, stereotypes, and so on.)

Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
A Micro Pig. Seriously, tell me these animals are the cutest! I know it's sort of mean/wrong to create things that we want by altering the DNA of creatures but since they are already there, can't I just have one?




Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
I simply cannot even describe a dream wedding, as there is not point in putting thought into it at this point and time in my life. :/ lol

Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) by Lady GaGa! I simply don't have anything to say. I wanted to blog, but had no meaningful words to post.

Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
A trip to Zumba! ;) It is so much fun! I love it.


Day 10 – A photo of our favorite place to eat.
Rather than a Favorite place, I'll post my favorite food to get. Loaded Baked Potato Soup from O'Charley's. I love it, it's delicious.


Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
I have no make up bag, so nothing. lol

Day 12 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
Being single right now, is annoying and frustrating, but I understand how it has it's benefits. If I were in a relationship, I could contribute nothing financially, also with the stress and busy-ness of school and cheerleading I don't even have time for a relationship. I'm content with being single most of the time but I mean, who doesn't wish they weren't in a relationship.

Day 13 – Your views on drugs and alcohol
Drugs are illegal and therefore I feel that they are bad and if there were a way to eradicate them forever, it should be done. Alcohol is as equally bad as drugs and should also be taken care of. Neither is good for people, they both ruin lives, and people. They are stupid substances that are negative for all of society. However, I don't look down upon people who drink, however, I feel uncomfortable about drug users. :/ sorry.

Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Right now I'm not addicted to anything. I do go through phases, however, I'm kind of really digging True Life right now. I always have and probably always will.

Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
My Cellular phone.

Day 16 – Your view on homosexuality.
Homosexuality? really? This shouldn't even be a question. People are born simply how they were born. There is no reason not to accept people. Homosexuality exists, that's the end. It's here, always has been, and always will be. If you are a christian and you believe the bible/god. Then, to be a true christian you must accept homosexuality and treat them as any heterosexual person, because God made them that way. :)

Day 17 – How you hope your future will be like.
Simply put...Happy.

Day 18 – 4 things that irritate ME about opposite/same sex
1. Saying that they are fat/fatties/overweight/etc. Seriously, the girls who openly say this are never fat or even chubby at the least. Also, whenever people say things like this in front of me (since I'm overweight) and they are not fat at all, it really makes me question what they think of me.
2. Not being able to take care of themselves. Most girls hold their beauty standards decently high or at least in the middle. Not saying that everyone needs to look their best everyday, they also need not look their worst everyday either. If I can keep up my appearances most of the time so can you. Not just women but men especially.
3. Basing behavior on outward appearances/stereotypes. We all judge everyone, it's fact. However, treating someone like garbage because of their stereotype/outward appearance is simply ignorant.
4. The blatant disrespect/disposal of virginity. No one remains a virgin anymore, it's ridiculous. People used to die virgin at old age sometimes, not people who die at 18 have already lost theirs. Americans/young people have little to no respect for themselves or their future mate. Also, the douchebaggery that usually men display, bragging about their sex partners/number of sex partners. Acting "macho" because you couldn't have self control doesn't prove anything, other than you don't have some virtues.

Day 19 – Your reflection in the mirror
This is obviously not my reflection anymore, but I was too lazy to look through my photos and find a more recent one. lol.



Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
The Life of Karl Brown, simply states what my blog is. There is no hidden meaning, it's quite literal. It is my life as I see it, and of things I find important.

Day 21 – A photo of something that makes you happy.
The city. I feel like I belong, and people are less judgmental there. I long to go again. :)


Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
I've already posted a letter a couple posts back. So I'll refrain from this.

Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
I also, posted a like 30 fact post so I'll skip this as well.

Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
These girls mean a lot to me. Cheerleading means the most to me. I cannot describe my love for it. No one seems to understand unless they love cheerleading as well.


Day 25 – Who are you?
To describe me right now would be hard. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and if I'm comfortable sharing who I am. However, I think you can get a decent idea for me from reading my other postings.

Day 26 – A photo of somewhere you want to go.
New York and Japan. :)




Day 27 – What kind of person attracts you?
A person, who can take care of themselves, has a sense of humor, isn't ignorant towards others, has the ability to care deeply, has their own sense of happiness, can communicate, and has things that they can enjoy.

Day 28 – In this past month, what have you learned?
I've learned mainly that I'm bitter and sad. I'm working on fixing that as previously stated in other posts. However, I'm going to work on it. I've also learned that I love Mean Girls and I hope that I'm making the right decisions in my life that affect my future. Before I was more passive about my life but I'm trying to be present for it.

Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Blogging? Cheerleading?

Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.
not me today, but recent enough to where I still look like this :p

1. I got a new T.V.
2. I finished another semester of College! :D
3. I'm on break from school for like two more weeks! :) That's pretty awesome I must say.

Enjoy this oh so long post! :)

Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart.

So, today I had my Christmas. In attendance was, Eric (Brother), Ori (Nephew), Aunt Hope, Roger (Hope's Husband), Pa Jim, Granny Dot, LeeAnn and Marie (Cousins), and Mom and Dad. Usually, these types of things are annoying, and often Frustrating. However, for some reason today was different. I got along with everyone and wasn't annoyed or angry with anyone really. It was actually enjoyable which says a lot. Eric and I are staying at my grandparent's house, and we had a really nice long, respectable chat with my grandma which doesn't happen that often. Usually it's superficial and not deep or heart felt, but tonight was a different story. I guess it just shows that Eric and I are maturing after all.
Also, this year wasn't about any presents for me. I didn't care what I did or did not get. It was nice to get presents but to be honest I couldn't have cared less.
Tomorrow Eric and I are planning on going to Carbondale to take Ori home to his momma (him misses her). Then, turn around pretty much and go back to Ramsey assuming the roads are safe to travel.

However, It's quite late, so I'm off to bed. I hope that you all have a great holiday and have as good a time as I did today. Be safe with traveling, and really get to know your family on a personal level rather than the roles they've assumed. They are individuals and have their own stories. Something neat to think about. Goodnight all, and Merry Christmas. :D

Here in This Diary

Dear...,
I don't understand where you get off thinking that it's okay to say the things you say to me. You make fun of me and basically call me worthless on a daily basis. Sorry, I finished high school, and have 2 years of college under my belt, and that I have plans for my life. I don't see any ground for making fun of me for going to college. As a parent you should be supportive. You do nothing but put me down and talk crap about me. The things that come out of your mouth should never be uttered to your child let alone another human. I used to listen to what you said, and dwell on it, it used to affect me, now I understand that you must have problems of your own for you to be able to act the way you do towards me. It's a good thing that I have grown up, and learned that you are ill mentally even though you fail to recognize it. Tonight alone you have said things that should hurt me and my self-esteem, but I don't care about you as a person. In my eyes, you are simply a being that has no attachment to me. I find it utterly unacceptable to call your child a faggot, ugly, fat, worthless, pathetic, and a plethora of other things

I absolutely cannot wait until I'm done with you and don't have to deal with you. You treat me like I'm garbage, and I might would understand if I was acting like a loser, but I'm not. I go to school, have a perfect G.P.A., I bought my own car, t.v., computer, cell phone, and clothes. You don't do anything to help me or yourself. You act like you're so high and mighty, but look where you are at in life. You're 45 with no job, you are a drop out (at least you did manage to get a G.E.D.) you have no friends, and you're a completely unlikable person. Keep on making fun of me if that's what helps you sleep at night, but realize that you will not be claimed as blood to me, because I don't need your toxicity in my life. You are a toxic parasite that needs to realize that they are in the wrong.


End Rant.

Karl.

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

As it begins to get colder and snowier and such, it brings to my attention that the year will be over in a mere three weeks. With the New Year, comes a sense of refreshment. Throwing out the old, and betting oneself. I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions however, for this next year, I'm going to make a list of goals rather than resolutions. In a sense these are the same but, goals sound more effort and serious.

I'm sure this list will change and be added to. However, here is my tentative list of goals for 2011.

1. Be Genuinely Happy.
2. Be More Comfortable with myself (not judge so harshly, be happy with my body, and the likes.)
3. Move Out!!! :) :)
4. Decide on a Major.
5. Be more honest with my friends and family.
6. Not be such a judgmental facetious person.
7. Let people go from my life that are leeches, or one sided friendships.
8. Get my Septum Pierced. ^.^
9. Blog more often (hopefully at least once a week, I know you all cannot wait! :P)
10. Be more creative (writing, musically expand horizons)
11. Start Sewing again.
12. Crochet something nifty!
13. shop strictly at 2nd hand stores (for everything except underwear and socks)
14. Eat Better.
15. Commit to Zumba :D
16. Go to The Fox at least once.
17. Do something with signing (whether making videos, or finding a place to sign for)
18. Drink More Water! :|
19. Maybe ween myself off of facebook/technology. Not let it run my life.
20. Make Someone's life better/volunteer/do something for someone else.
21. Not procrastinate so much!

In 2011, I'm hopeful for more things. I feel that making them a goal is me trying too hard.
1. Finding out who I really am.
2. Finding new friends. (like more, not different)
3. Losing some weight.
4. Finding a lady friend :p
5. Living with little regret.

FINALE (B)

Ahh, with only a matter of days left in the Semester, my attitude is starting to perk up. After Thursday, I'll have a glorious like three weeks of doing nothing! I'm looking forward to the new year even though it is a little ways away, but still a boy can dream. Next year will hold in store a lot of new things. I'm very excited for at least one of them.

I will be moving out of my parent's house in roughly eight months! I have been waiting for this day for years, but for reason of finance I've been stuck. However, I'm to the point where I don't care if I go in debt. I need to get away from my mother! Depending on my future plans I'll either be 1.5 or 2 hours away from her. Which is good enough for now.

As this semester comes to an end, I'm hopeful. Hopeful for several reasons. I'm taking some education classes and if I like them, then I've found my major, if not I'm back to having nothing. Next semester, will be a lot of work, I'm upping my course load to 18 hours instead of my usual 15-16. I know I can do it, it's just a matter of not procrastinating.

One thing I've learned from this semester (not necessarily from school) is that I need to stop being so negative, self-loathing, and just bitter. It's getting me no where, so That's one thing I'll be working on. I've been trying to, but with final exams almost here, everything I've known is being thrown out of my mind in order to have room for the cramming that will ensue oh so shortly.

That is all, nothing really intelligent in this but rather just babbling. Enjoy :p