So...here it goes. I haven't blogged in quite sometime...so for you faithful followers I apologize. I haven't been that inspired lately nor have I really had the time. However, I figured I should come up with something to say, and here it is.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about fakeness. Not just oh look it me I'm fake with my orange spray tan and my accessory dog. I mean like fakeness as in a double life. I mean yes, we all have a double life to a certain extent, but there comes a point when it is too much and you must realize that you are the fake person you are complaining about.
I've struggled with my realness a lot, because I have a lot of thoughts about people, I hold them back to not get into drama. I used to think that that made me fake until I realized I'm just protecting them and myself from worthless hatred.
However, some of the people in my life, have been surprising me and not in the good way. I've been being let down by a lot of people lately, some have been a long process, but as they reveal themselves more, I realize how 'fake' they are. Why do people feel like they need to live separate lives? So I'm not 100 percent honest with every detail of my life, but when I'm with other people I'm the same person. I don't take on the personality of whoever I'm with. I don't do things because my friends are doing them. I just don't get why people my age and even a little older feel like they need to camouflage themselves with their friends. Why can't people just be who they are? Judgement. We are all afraid of being judge by someone. Even though we shouldn't care we often do. We pretend to shrug it off and then go home and it festers and annoys us. What if we spoke up when things happened, what if we didn't have to hide anything or keep it a secret?
This really has no point other than the fact that I feel like I've been let down by multiple people lately. Isn't it better to be you than the idea of you?
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