Never Grow Up

(So...I'm fully aware that I suck at keeping my blog updated, for those of you who read it, I apologize! I'm busy,but I'm sure I'll be having a lot more time in about a month!)

However, for now I'll update you on my current state. For the past year, I've been looking forward to move out of my parent's house and out of the small town(technically village) that I grew up in. I've been dreaming of this day my whole life. To get out of this judgmental hell hole where everyone knows your business. But, as the time draws closer, I'm getting nervous, scared, anxious, and just altogether freaked out a little bit. The day I've been so excited for may end up being the day I fear.

Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to still get out of this town, and the small-minded people that dwell in it, I'm also nervous that things won't be like I want them to be. I'm not even sure how I'm going to support myself. I haven't saved near enough money, like I thought I would. So, in attempts to pay for it, I applied for a student loan tonight. It's scary thinking that I'm going in debt to live by myself...is my happiness worth going into debt for. Right now the answer is yes, I just hope I don't come to regret my decision.

Although, I've been looking at apartments for about a month now, here and there, not like every day. But...I hadn't been having very good luck. Today I went to look at apartments in Mattoon with my mom, and I found one. I'll be living in a Studio apartment about the size of my living room, for $400 a month, which is all utilities included except internet/cable. So Goodbye television drama addictions! I can deal with that I think. Before I settled on this apartment I looked a few before today. The first apartment I looked at today, I probably would've went with if it weren't for the landlord. He was downright immature, shallow, and unprofessional! He commented several times about my piercings, saying that he couldn't even look at me with "those decorations in my face." He asked me how much I weighed like that even matters! Also, he informed me that I'd never find a job or girlfriend with long hair, a beard, and "those decorations." That I would scare off the ladies, at least then I wouldn't have to worry about getting a girl pregnant. I was so pissed, it was the worst start to today, but it ended on a positive note.

P.S. I was singing Taylor Swift's "Never Grow Up" to my mom on the way home after I put down my deposit. It was a bittersweet thing! It kind of speaks to what I feel, but probably will more so once I'm out of my parent's house.

I know that you are probably bored, so I'll leave you...I just wanted to update! :)