Rumor Has It

In all of this turmoil surrounding Ms. Gigar, her coaching position, the school board, fairness, equity, and a plethora of other topics, this situation has me thinking. The administration in the Ramsey School District has been less than adequate for years. They cater to the teachers, the one's that they like or maybe that the students like (for the most part). A situation happened with me and a teacher when I was a senior in high school. The fiasco was kind of a big deal, or at least I thought it should have been. However, it was brushed under the rug with little to no punishment. The administration took the situation very lightly, almost jokingly. By now I'm sure you're wondering what happened? For those of you who don't know, I'll tell you now.

It was senior year, sometime in the fall semester. Lets say it was around October of 2008. The bell (siren) sounded to let us know that first hour was over. I gathered my things, visited my locker and went to 2nd hour Spanish. I took my usual seat in the back, sandwiched between my two friends in the class. As class began my friend to the left (my best friend since age five) started to tell me a story I will never, ever forget.

(The following are paraphrased quotes, but they are as close to the truth as I can recall.)

She turned and looked at me "So...Mrs. (&%#*& was talking about you in first hour. " My curiosity was at a high. I asked what she had said. My friend made a face, and I knew it wasn't going to be all that good. She continued her story "Well...in Adult Living we were talking about homosexuality and how homosexual lives differ from heterosexual ones."

By this point in the story, I already knew where it was heading. I was already beyond pissed off. My mind was racing, I needed for her to get to the next part. "Well...She brought your name up." Quickly I replied "What-did-she-say?" "When she brought your name up, she told that class that she thought you were gay." My face in shocked. "Why would she say that?" My friend responded "Well...she gave reasons."

I could already not believe the audacity that a member of faculty had. With the information this far, I was ready for a battle. Hurt and embarrassed. Furious and sad. The story continued and not to any surprise got worse.

"She said that she thought you were gay because of like five different things." "Well what were they!?" "One, your hair. Two, the way you speak. Three, the way you dress. Four, the way you carry yourself. Five, the ...." I don't remember the fifth reason or if there was one. I don't really remember much about what happened that day in Spanish, Calc, Physics, Band, Choir, or the rest of the day. All I could do was focus on my hate. The blatant disrespect that had occurred. The betrayal didn't stop there though. The teacher took it a step farther. "Then after she said that, she went around the room and talked to everyone individually. "Do you think Karl is gay? (she asked every student in the room their opinion on the topic that she created.)""

The bell (siren) sounded to notify us that 2nd Hour was over. I went to Calculus. I had never wanted to leave school so bad in my life, or maybe punch a person of authority in the face. I withheld, and refrained from both of those options. Towards the end of third hour Calculus, I asked the teacher if I could speak with her in the hall. I believe that she knew something was up. She willingly agreed, and we made our way to the hallway. I explained to her what had happened and she was shocked. Mouth open shocked. She was then furious and told me that I had to go see administration. I took her advice and as the bell (siren) rang to dismiss third hour. I made my way downstairs to the Guidance Counselor's office.

I think that she was caught off guard to see me. I never went there as I didn't have much of a reason to. However, she invited me in and asked what I needed. I explained the fiasco to her. She honestly didn't have much to say. She told me that she would talk to the principal and see what they could do. I was very displeased with this response. I thought maybe an immediate firing was in order. (Clearly that's irrational (a little bit), but I thought it would be just.)

I went to my fourth hour class late. I sat through it, thinking of nothing else but the ordeal that had happened. On top of the rage I felt for that teacher, I also felt it for the Guidance Counselor. As I made my way towards lunch, there stood the teacher (the one who had perpetrated) in the hall. I tried not to even look at her, although I wanted her to talk to me so bad, yet not at all. My emotions were fuming. She pulled me into her room. I expected an apology, a long heartfelt apology. This is what I got. "I assume you've heard about class this morning, I should have spoken with you beforehand to make sure it was okay. Sorry for not asking your permission." I can't even tell you if I responded. I can't remember, it's all just a blur. I know our meeting was brief and I believe that's all that was said. I left the room, I went to lunch. I told people what had happened. I cussed her, I belittled her, I talked as much shit as I possibly could about her. And you know what, it felt good, but at the same time, I was doing what she had done to me. With the exception that I wasn't in a position of power, teaching a group of high school age kids. So we were not the same. We were not at all. I was an eighteen year old boy who had always been questioned on his sexuality, and she was a 40 something teacher at a small school district in Illinois.

As the day continued, I spoke with my band/choir teacher. I explained what had happened, what the administration had said/done/didn't do. She was beyond furious. I could hear it in her voice that she meant what she was saying. She was shocked yet not, all at the same time. I listened, on the edge of every word falling from her mouth. She was enraged. She told me to go above the principal and straight to the superintendent.

Whenever I came home from school, I spilled the news to my parents. My dad wasn't too concerned and acted like it wasn't that big of a deal. My mother on the other hand was livid. She began calling the teacher (who she had never met) every name in the book, insisting that they go see the administration. My dad was reluctant, but agreed. Probably a week later, a meeting was set up. In attendance I believe were my parents, the school Superintendent, and the high school Principal. (Possibly the Guidance Counselor.) I was not informed of the meeting, nor was I invited.

I understand why I wasn't now, at least a little bit I do. I still believe that I had a right to be there and be included. Yes, I was a child, a minor, a dependent. However, I was Eighteen, I was the one it all circulated about, I was the one that mattered. The meeting went on for a little over an hour or so I hear. The conclusion was that basically nothing was going to happen to the teacher. I know that the verdict was small. I believe they decided that a letter would be placed in her "folder," and that she should formally apologize to me and the class. As far as I know, she never apologized to the class or address the issue with them. As for me, I'm still waiting for my apology.

The reason that this blog is motivated out of the Ms. Gigar situation, I think is clear. For those of you still unclear, this teacher blatantly picked me out, singled me out, spoke about me in a disrespectful manner, and if you will "bullied" me. She caused me a lot of grief as well as grief in my family. She caused a lot of damaged, and destroyed a lot of trust and faith that I have with authority, administration, and teachers.

Ms. Gigar on the other hand, to my knowledge, has never done any of the likes! Yes, Gigar is hard, we all know that. But is Gigar a bully? absolutely not. Does Gigar want the absolute best for her students? Will she push you? Will she make you a better person? Will she teach you how to play a mean game of badminton? Heck yes she will. Gigar is a motivator! She is respected. Gigar follows the rules and stands up in what she believes in. The parallel of these happenings is ridiculous. One teacher was clearly wrong while the other teacher is not. Gigar encourages her students to be the best that they can be. Ms. Gigar has left a strong impact on my life, I will never forget her nor what she has instilled in me. I hope that the administration can right their wrongs, and move forward and honestly take what is best for the students into their consideration. School is about learning, about bettering the kids, about building them, instilling confidence, pushing them beyond their means, and so on. It's not about the politics. It's not about power, and it's definitely not about the abuse of power.