GaGa

I am a pretty big Lady GaGa fan. At first I was sort of weary and brushed her off. I really did not like the first song I heard that was by her. Just Dance, it frustrated and annoyed me. It grew on me though and I began to like it. Then Poker Face came about and I was hooked from then on. Now, not a day goes by without me singing one of GaGa's songs. I am in love with her. I watch all the interviews I can of her. I DVR every show she is on. I have three of her C.D.'s and I listen to at least one a day.
I respect her music. It is so catchy and different from what is out there. She is unique, and that is awesome. So many newer artist are just clones with no variance from anyone else. They are mere copycats of their predecessors. Since she has come out as an artist, others have already started to transform to be more out of the box. Beyonce being one of them, and Ke$ha being another. GaGa brings out the creative side in those that like her music and like her. One of my favorite things about GaGa is that she does remixes, she sings, and she plays piano. She changes up her songs all the time. With every performance comes a new side of the song. Whether it is just a little change, or a big change. She is not afraid to be different. Not only, does this give us fans something new to like, but also shows us that she is actually singing! Which is a major plus. She is a good pianist, and that is also cool that she can actually play an instrument instead of just singing like so many other pop artist.
Not only does GaGa have creative music, but a very creative wardrobe. Her outfits are by far the most exciting I've seen yet. They are extravagant, flashy, unique and simply GaGa. They make a statement and are one of a kind.
Although with all being said, I respect her much more because she has a cause. She is so avid in the fight for gay rights. She's dedicated awards for the "gays" and has even spoken for them. She is truly fighting for something that she believes in and that makes me like her so much more. She actually has a point to make and is not afraid what others think or say about her or who she is. She is accepting of everyone and everything. If we could all just be a little more open-minded like GaGa, think about where we could be.
I just wanted to let you guys know about one of my obsessions and how I feel about her. I'm sleepy or I would add plenty more I'm sure. I could go for days!

Cherry Cherry Boom Boom!

Dear Life,

You have been entirely too eventful this week. Too much has happened, too much has been said, too many mistakes have been made. This has been a trying week, and it will only get better from here or so I hope. I will not lose you as a friend, I won't. Whether or not my other friends agree with that or not, or the awkwardness that has come, I'll be there (just like Michael Jackson). I'm in an awkward position, I should be happy but I'm not. I should be proud but I'm not. I have too many things on my mind to distribute the correct emotions to, so for now I feel numb. I put on my face, and I fake my way through. I think you know too much about that personally, but it won't be admitted. I do not know how to feel at the current time. How can this be? How could one night turn into a disaster? It was such a good weekend until this happened. I have no blame for anyone, and I have no bad feelings towards anyone. It was every one's fault, for our respective mistakes.
On to another note, I feel as though you lied to me. You told me the truth, and I think it hurts worse than a lie would have. It doesn't help that this happens every two months or so. Stop being so cool, cute, and awesome. Honestly, just stop it, because I'm the only one who gets hurt out of this.
I'm tired of being the one that know one wants, I'm tired of being the one who is talked about, I'm tired of being the one that is always there, I'm tired...Simply put I'm tired of being on the back burner of many people lives. I'll never be enough for you, I'm tired of trying, You'll never make a step, You'll never take a chance on me. I set myself up to get hurt by you, it's dumb. This has been drawn out for too long.
While I'm on my oh so sweet rant. I don't understand you small town lifestyle. I don't get you and you're close mindedness. How can you sit there and be content with nothing? You do nothing, you will never do anything. How can you be satisfied? You are going nowhere and you just don't care. You will be stuck in the same town for the rest of your life. You will never know what is out there. How can you not have the drive to escape. There will be generations of you. Your parents, grandparents, so on, on down to your children, close mindedness will reign, and never be overthrown. Even in your close mindedness, you are not consistent. I can understand what it feels like to be trapped. I get it, but to lay there and not know it is appalling. The lack of ambition to better yourself, to even educate yourself. You'll be working a dead end job that barely pays enough to support your unplanned family, and you don't care! I don't get it, please explain your rationale to me!

Sorry for the ranting, but I needed to get this out of me, maybe then I can move on, forget, and resume life where I left off last week.

Karl.

You May Think I'm A Douche

As of late, I've been getting told somewhat often that I think too highly of myself. Is this really a bad thing? I don't think so. I can understand that there comes a point where it becomes too much, but honestly if you were to know me, you would then know that I do not think that highly of myself. To be quite honest with you, I don't think highly of myself at all. I think quite the opposite, I think of myself as a failure most of the time, as a lazy loser, and many other things. However, I also sometimes can't help but think that I am better than some people. You may not agree with this but, I feel that, if we do not think that we are better than anyone else, then we will never be more than what we are now. If we don't have something to push off of, then how can we get started bettering ourselves? My motivation is to look at those who I aspire not to be. It sounds cruel but sorry, it's how I roll.

This is getting brought up because over a year or two ago I spoke one sentence to a person in my family. (For protection I will refrain from using names, in thought that they may read this.) "I feel bad, but I cannot help to feel that I am better than..."

Every time my mother and I fight, this sentence is brought up. It's not about feeling superior to anyone, it's about saying what I feel. Is that so wrong? I don't think so, we are taught to express ourselves at whatever cost aren't we. In order to be honest with ourselves, we need to express our true feelings don't we?

All in all, if I didn't think lowly of people, I wouldn't have the drive to go anywhere. I wouldn't have the ambition I need to shake this small town lifestyle. I wouldn't be able to progress and make something out of myself, or my life.

So, Sorry for being better, if it helps you feel better about yourself, at least you are giving me a push!

Jump In Jump Out, Turn Yourself about, Jump In Jump Out Introduce Yourself.

I feel that you need an introduction to who I am. So…Hello all. I am Karl Brown. I am 19 for now, but will be 20 before too much longer. My birthday is August 21^st. A pretty awesome date. I live in a pretty small town for now. Well…I lied, it’s not even a town, it’s a village. My village is called Ramsey and it has an impressive 1000 people living in it. Whoa! That is a lot I know. I’ve basically lived in this village for my whole life. I went to both Elementary School and High School there. I graduated 4^th in my class of like 23 or so. I currently go to Lakeland Community College in Mattoon, Illinois, and also go to Kaskaskia Community College in Vandalia, Illinois. I live with my parents still. My mom and dad are pretty lame! They have some major issues which will be brought up later. At my parent’s house, they live pretty white-trash. I try to escape the white-trash lifestyle whenever possible. To give you one hint as to the white-trash-ness we have 5 dogs and a 3-legged cat. Among countless other things.

As for my life, it is very boring, and also yet eventful. Since it is currently summer, I’m pretty bored. I have a lot of “friends,” I really use that term loosely. I have maybe 10 “real” friends. My friends constantly change. I drive crappy cars that always break down. I love it! It’s the absolute best! I try to play piano, I’m not very good. I’m actually not very good at a lot of things that I do, but I remain trying. I enjoy singing, and musicals, and good clothing, and facebook, and the internet, and having fun with friends, and inside jokes, and awkward situations, and sign language, and countless other things. Also, run-on sentences J. As for the future of my life…Who knows? I don’t really know what I want to be yet, but should decide somewhat soon, I’m growing up and I’m not a big fan of it. I may become a Sign Language Interpreter. I have been fascinated by signing since I was a wee child.

As for right now, I’m out of things to say, so I shall update later!

Goodbye for now.