Dear Life,

You have been entirely too eventful this week. Too much has happened, too much has been said, too many mistakes have been made. This has been a trying week, and it will only get better from here or so I hope. I will not lose you as a friend, I won't. Whether or not my other friends agree with that or not, or the awkwardness that has come, I'll be there (just like Michael Jackson). I'm in an awkward position, I should be happy but I'm not. I should be proud but I'm not. I have too many things on my mind to distribute the correct emotions to, so for now I feel numb. I put on my face, and I fake my way through. I think you know too much about that personally, but it won't be admitted. I do not know how to feel at the current time. How can this be? How could one night turn into a disaster? It was such a good weekend until this happened. I have no blame for anyone, and I have no bad feelings towards anyone. It was every one's fault, for our respective mistakes.
On to another note, I feel as though you lied to me. You told me the truth, and I think it hurts worse than a lie would have. It doesn't help that this happens every two months or so. Stop being so cool, cute, and awesome. Honestly, just stop it, because I'm the only one who gets hurt out of this.
I'm tired of being the one that know one wants, I'm tired of being the one who is talked about, I'm tired of being the one that is always there, I'm tired...Simply put I'm tired of being on the back burner of many people lives. I'll never be enough for you, I'm tired of trying, You'll never make a step, You'll never take a chance on me. I set myself up to get hurt by you, it's dumb. This has been drawn out for too long.
While I'm on my oh so sweet rant. I don't understand you small town lifestyle. I don't get you and you're close mindedness. How can you sit there and be content with nothing? You do nothing, you will never do anything. How can you be satisfied? You are going nowhere and you just don't care. You will be stuck in the same town for the rest of your life. You will never know what is out there. How can you not have the drive to escape. There will be generations of you. Your parents, grandparents, so on, on down to your children, close mindedness will reign, and never be overthrown. Even in your close mindedness, you are not consistent. I can understand what it feels like to be trapped. I get it, but to lay there and not know it is appalling. The lack of ambition to better yourself, to even educate yourself. You'll be working a dead end job that barely pays enough to support your unplanned family, and you don't care! I don't get it, please explain your rationale to me!

Sorry for the ranting, but I needed to get this out of me, maybe then I can move on, forget, and resume life where I left off last week.

Karl.