You May Think I'm A Douche

As of late, I've been getting told somewhat often that I think too highly of myself. Is this really a bad thing? I don't think so. I can understand that there comes a point where it becomes too much, but honestly if you were to know me, you would then know that I do not think that highly of myself. To be quite honest with you, I don't think highly of myself at all. I think quite the opposite, I think of myself as a failure most of the time, as a lazy loser, and many other things. However, I also sometimes can't help but think that I am better than some people. You may not agree with this but, I feel that, if we do not think that we are better than anyone else, then we will never be more than what we are now. If we don't have something to push off of, then how can we get started bettering ourselves? My motivation is to look at those who I aspire not to be. It sounds cruel but sorry, it's how I roll.

This is getting brought up because over a year or two ago I spoke one sentence to a person in my family. (For protection I will refrain from using names, in thought that they may read this.) "I feel bad, but I cannot help to feel that I am better than..."

Every time my mother and I fight, this sentence is brought up. It's not about feeling superior to anyone, it's about saying what I feel. Is that so wrong? I don't think so, we are taught to express ourselves at whatever cost aren't we. In order to be honest with ourselves, we need to express our true feelings don't we?

All in all, if I didn't think lowly of people, I wouldn't have the drive to go anywhere. I wouldn't have the ambition I need to shake this small town lifestyle. I wouldn't be able to progress and make something out of myself, or my life.

So, Sorry for being better, if it helps you feel better about yourself, at least you are giving me a push!